


Read My Mind

by CheekyBrunette



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M, Nagisa is the cutest little pumpkin, Rei is actually an oblivious idiot, Soul Mate AU, There's some Rin/Sousuke if you squint, This was supposed to be less than 2k
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-31
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2018-05-10 13:00:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5586538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheekyBrunette/pseuds/CheekyBrunette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Soul Mate AU where soul mates can talk to each other telepathically, and Rei's never been able to read Nagisa's mind because Nagisa says everything he wants to share out loud.</p><p>Alternatively known as the one where Nagisa talks a little too much, everyone knows that Nagisa and Rei are soul mates but Rei, no one can have a clear conversation, and Rin is the one who fixes everything. Per usual.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Read My Mind

Rei and Nagisa had been friends for almost a year now. During that time, they had been in near constant communication. However, despite all his experience talking to Nagisa, Rei was still always thrown when Nagisa randomly shifted the topic of conversation.

While Rei’s brain was linear, moving from one thought to the next, Nagisa’s was a web. Everything was connected, and Nagisa tended to move from one subject to the next without any form of segue to help Rei follow along. He was difficult to keep up with. 

(Which was saying something, considering Rei hardly ever had trouble keeping up with anything, no matter the subject. And the things he did have trouble with, he theorized, practiced, and read about until he could follow along with ease.)

So when Nagisa seamlessly transitioned from chattering on about the importance of knee-high socks to rushing towards their senpais without a word of warning, Rei shouldn’t have been so surprised.

“Mako-chan! Haru-chan!” Nagisa yelped, jumping onto Makoto’s back and completely ignoring the fact that he had left Rei mid-sentence. “Rei-chan and I are going to my house after practice to watch movies. Wanna come?”

Rei adjusted his goggles up onto his forehead as he joined the conversation. He didn’t recall Nagisa ever discussing these plans with him, but he supposed it didn’t much matter. The blond always managed to wear him down into spending their afternoons together. Rei found it difficult to deny Nagisa anything, especially when it came to spending quality time together.

The thought alone had Rei blushing.

“What movies?” Haru asked. Nagisa smiled sweetly –the kind of smile he used when he was about to suggest something uncouth- and wormed his arms and legs tighter around Makoto’s shoulders and waist.

“ _Blood Bath_ 6, 7, and 8.”

“No.”

“But _Haru-chan!”_ Nagisa whined. “You and Makoto spend all of your time together and none of your time with me!”

Haru and Makoto shared a look, their eyes seemingly sparking as they found each other. Rei could recognize the glint in their eyes as the same one his parents shared over his head at the dinner table. A few select couples at school sent each other similar glances in class, and the actors in the romance movies Gou-san preferred all worked tirelessly to recreate similar expressions.

Only soul mates could give each other that kind of look and have it mean something. A glance like that usually meant they were communicating telepathically. Only soul mates shared a bond strong enough to share thoughts without ever speaking, and Haru and Makoto had known they were bound together since they were in elementary school.

“Well, of course. Haru is _mine_ , Nagisa. It would be weird if I spent more time with you than I did with him. We’re… we’re _supposed_ to be together,” Makoto said, his cheeks turning pink. Haru didn’t flinch, but his nose did twitch: a sure sign that he was just as shy about his relationship as Makoto seemed to be.

Makoto’s voice had been gentle, but Nagisa was still pouting. “But you can still come over! It’s important to spend time together as a team!” he argued.

Haru and Makoto shared another look.

“Makoto doesn’t like scary movies,” Haru said simply. Makoto craned his neck to look up at Nagisa, offering him an apologetic wince. The blonde’s frown only grew bigger.

Haru blinked once.

Nagisa sniffled.

Haru sighed. “We can watch something Makoto wants tomorrow afternoon,” he conceded. Rei didn’t understand how Haru could sound so monotone and exasperated at the same time.

“Together?!” Nagisa asked, immediately perking up.

“Together,” Haru agreed. It never ceased to amaze Rei how someone so expressionless could be so caring, and not just about his soul mate for that matter. While he had been very protective of Makoto by making sure he didn’t have to watch a movie that would cause him discomfort, he still showed concern for Nagisa by compromising.

Nagisa was audibly appreciative. “Yay! We’ll watch movies, and play games, and tell stories, and eat what Haru-chan cooks, and today I will spend time with just Rei-chan!” Nagisa exclaimed, jumping off Makoto and latching onto Rei’s arm. Once again, Rei felt a blush heat up his cheeks.

“Thank you very much for your offer of hospitality, Haruka-senpai,” Rei said, bowing despite the boy attached to his arm. Of course, as grateful as he was for the opportunity to spend time with his teammates, he was mostly happy that Nagisa wouldn’t have a reason to be upset for the rest of practice.

Haru only nodded in response before jumping into the pool.

Makoto laughed fondly. “Well, what do you say we join him, ah?” he asked. Nagisa yelped in agreement, and the two dove into their respective lanes for some warm up laps. Meanwhile, Rei stood frozen on the pool deck for a moment, watching Nagisa’s streak of pale skin and black and pink jammers go back and forth through the water.

* * *

It was a constant effort for Rei to not get discouraged when he considered his relationship with Nagisa-kun. 

He knew it was unlikely to meet one’s soul mate in high school. Most found their respective spouses in college or at their first jobs. It was statistically unlikely for anyone to find their soul mate at all, but most people did (a fact that Rei found disturbing, due to his love of mathematics), and he should be thankful just to know that there was someone out there for him, even if he had yet to meet them.

After all, a bond between two soul mates is something to be cherished. Soul mates can share a brain, share thoughts. Rei should be content to know that one day, he would be able to read someone else’s mind. He had grown up, dreaming of the girl he would one day analyze problems and share hypotheses with, all without ever speaking.

Nagisa would never be able to do any of those things. He was too impatient to discuss theory. He didn’t care about the minor details of the world and how it operated, preferring to get by with a broad, vague concept of his surroundings. And while gender and sexuality were not things that Rei found himself overly concerned about, the fact that Nagisa was male instead of female did not make him apt for child-rearing or home-making. At least not in the traditional social sense.

However, despite these drawbacks, whenever Rei pictured his ideal soul mate, Nagisa was the image that came to mind.

Rei couldn’t stop thinking about his tiny upturned nose or his wide, magenta eyes. Every single thing about him was cute. Illogically cute. Nagisa was 17 now, there was no reason for him to still carry such a boyish, adorable charm about him.

Rei’s face started to heat up, as he sat at the foot of Nagisa’s bed, tuning out both the movie that was playing in front of him and the nonsense his friend was babbling on about. He loved hearing every word that came out of Nagisa’s mouth, but it was impossible to pay attention to all of it, especially when Rei was having such conflicting thoughts.

It certainly wasn’t unheard of to develop feelings for those other than your soul mate. Rei had learned about the effects of hormones on human attraction, and he was well aware that during this pivotal point in his teenage development, his endocrine system was critically unbalanced. He overheard many of his peers’ conversations about which girls and boys they were physically attracted to, so he knew he was not alone in these feelings of lust.

But it wasn’t just desire that Rei felt for Nagisa-kun. As passionately as he thought about Nagisa’s toned shoulders and surprisingly long legs for his short frame, he also felt a deeply companionate love for his friend.

Rei’s fingers gripped at Nagisa’s sheets as he thought about the things he loved about the other boy’s personality, presence, and behaviors. There were so many things to love about Nagisa, from his quirky and colorful clothes to his perseverance in the face of any problem. Rei loved every aspect about Nagisa, from things that just skimmed the surface of his personality to the very deepest parts of him.

But maybe that was just part of friendship. Rei hadn’t had many friends before, and he certainly never had ones he saw as often as Nagisa-kun.

But he did not feel the same way about Haruka-senpai and Makoto-senpai, whom he saw nearly as often.

Well, maybe it was just something to do with Nagisa’s charm, then. Rei knew of many girls in their class who considered confessing to Nagisa or, at the very least, talked positively about him behind his back.

But they all cared in that way for _many_ boys, not just one. Rei cared only for Nagisa.

“… Rei-chan? _Rei-chan._ Earth to Rei-chan!” the boy in question crooned. He crawled over the mattress to throw his head into Rei’s lap.

Rei startled a little bit, hand instinctively lacing into Nagisa’s hair as he settled. “What do you need, Nagisa-kun?” he asked, knowing that the blonde hardly ever paused his train of thought when he did not need something.

“Rei-chan’s head is somewhere else today. Three people’s throats got cut open, and blood was splattering, and people were screaming, and you could see the _bone_ , Rei-chan, but you didn’t even _flinch_.”

Rei huffed and adjusted his glasses. “That is because while you and Makoto get lost in the fantasy of these movies, I can only notice anatomical inaccuracy after inaccuracy while watching scenes like these.”

Nagisa just laughed –a light, airy noise that seemed to fill Rei’s chest- and reached out to grab onto his sweater vest. Rei was absolutely lost in the physical contact and the sheer beauty – _beauty-_ of the boy resting in his lap, until Nagisa managed to catch his attention again. “Rei-chan, see, you are blanking out!”

“I’m sorry, did you ask something?”

“Yes, I asked what’s wrong? Why are you so spacey?” Rei pressed his lips together before turning away from his friend. He moved out from under the other boy’s head and turned to face him, sitting cross-legged on the bed. Nagisa moved to mirror him, their knees brushing.

“Can I try something, Nagisa-kun?” Rei asked, despite how impolite it was to answer a question with another question.

“Sure, anything.”

“Okay, just… just be still,” Rei said, putting his hands on Nagisa’s shoulders. Everyone said that you just started _hearing_ your soul mate’s thoughts; that as soon as you made eye contact and one of you chose to share something, you could hear it. Rei had been listening for months to see if Nagisa chose to tell him something, but maybe he should try sharing.

He focused all of his energy on speaking to Nagisa, but he didn’t move his lips. Instead he locked eyes with the younger boy and thought.

**_You are so very dear to me._ **

Nagisa looked up at him –confused- before a big smile took over his face. “Rei-chan, you’re such a dork,” he giggled.

Rei sighed, knowing the blonde could not have heard. Surely he would have responded mentally or at least commented on Rei’s confession. After all, finding one’s soul mate was a monumental occasion. It determined the rest of your life. Nagisa laughed at him and called him a dork all of the time, it didn’t mean anything special.

Rei knew that soul mates were supposed to be your perfect match, but it was hard to imagine anyone more perfect for him than Nagisa.

* * *

Haru opened the door on the first knock. “Haruka-senpai,” Rei said, bowing in greeting. Haru didn’t respond, just walked further into the house with the door still open. Rei took that as a sign to follow him in. 

He stepped inside and started to take off his shoes, but he was stopped when a blur of blond hair and pastel-colored clothes came barreling at him. He almost fell over as Nagisa forced him into a hug. “Rei-chan, you came!”

“Obviously, I came, Nagisa-kun. This is an opportunity for team bonding, which will inarguably increase our morale as well as potentially improve our relay times. Besides, I personally find our friendship invaluable, and-“

“Rei-chan, I’m just glad you made it,” Nagisa interrupted, a bright smile on his face.

“Oh.”

**_I’m very glad to be here, too, Nagisa-kun._ **

“We’re all in the kitchen!” Nagisa continued to say as he closed the door. Rei tried not to blush as Nagisa laced their fingers together and pulled him farther into Haru’s house. Despite being precisely punctual, he found that everyone had arrived before him. His friends were all there: Nagisa, Haru, Makoto, and-

“Rin-san,” Rei gasped, surprised.

“Yo,” Rin replied, waving two fingers in greeting. Rei couldn’t help but smile. Despite how emotionally inept Rin could be, Rei valued the time they spent together. Rin had been immeasurably helpful last year by teaching him how to swim, and he now understood why his teammates had found the red head to be so inspiring in elementary school.

“Well, if we’re all here, why don’t we start a movie,” Makoto offered, knowing that was what Nagisa had wanted to do yesterday.

Of course, Nagisa’s mind changed rather quickly. “I think we should play truth or dare!” he announced. The blonde bounced on his toes, looking at his friends expectantly.

Rin groaned. “I’m not getting involved in another one of your demented-“

“It’ll be fun!” Nagisa interrupted. Rin still looked skeptical. “You don’t have to ask for dares if you don’t want to. You can ask for truths instead, if you want to play it safe.”

“It’s the truths I’m afraid of,” Rin muttered under his breath.

Rei’s ears picked up on Rin’s words, and he immediately tried to back out of the game. “I think I’ll sit this one out,” he said meekly, knowing he was in no position to answer questions truthfully tonight. He harbored too many secrets about Nagisa to be honest, given the questions the other boys were most likely to ask. Rei confidently assumed most of the truths would be about past and present romances.

“What? If Rei’s not playing, then I’m not playing,” Rin demanded.

Nagisa smacked his hands down on the table, leaning forward. “Rei-chan doesn’t have to play,” he said. Rei smiled up at him gratefully.

“Thank you, Nagisa-kun, I-“

“ _But_ ,” Nagisa interrupted. Rei’s stomach flip-flopped. “If he doesn’t, then he’s an even bigger wimp than Mako-chan,” he finished with a finger pointed up in the air. Rei’s face turned bright red and his shoulders sank inwards.

“Okay, fine, I’ll play.”

Nagisa seemed pleased with him for agreeing, at the very least. With Rei now in the game, Rin did not seem so opposed, and Makoto and Haruka joined easily enough (although, Makoto did seem a bit disturbed by the ‘wimp’ comment).

“You go first, Haru-chan! Pick whoever you want!” Nagisa said brightly.

Unsurprisingly, Haru picked Makoto. “Dare you to kiss me,” Haru said, the faintest of smiles on his lips. Makoto laughed softly before leaning in to rise to the challenge. Rin made gagging noises, and Nagisa groaned.

“Haru, that’s not even how you do it. You’re supposed to ask if they want truth or dare, and if they pick dare, it’s supposed to be something they _don’t_ want to do,” he complained. “Like this, see?” Magenta eyes fell on purple. “Rei-chan, truth or dare?”

Rei squirmed in his seat. He couldn’t pick truth and then resort to lying. That would ruin the core essence of the game. Instead, he would have to choose the riskier choice. “Dare.”

Nagisa’s smile widened mischievously. “I dare you to penguin walk around the house! Outside where the neighbors can see!”

Rei’s face grew hot at the idea of strangers seeing him in the process of doing something so unbeautiful. However, he got off the floor and dutifully performed the task. It took him a considerably long time: long enough for Nagisa to get bored and tell him to ask someone else ‘truth or dare’ before he was even halfway around the house.

He ended up daring Rin to drink pickle juice while upside-down in a headstand (per Nagisa’s request), and the dares only became sillier from there. Aside from Makoto, no one ever opted for the truth option, instead preferring to make each other perform more and more disgusting, undignified, and dangerous feats.

The game didn’t come to an end until Rin dropped Haru’s coffee table on his toe. He had been using it for triceps curls, and after it landed on his foot, he refused to play any longer.

“What if we watched the movie Makoto wanted to see instead?” Rei offered before Rin and Nagisa started arguing about what to do next.

“We can do that!” Makoto replied, queuing up the movie, even though it was Haru’s house, not his own. Rei sat down on the sofa, claiming an armrest spot, and Nagisa crowded onto the couch right next to him. He seemed to always take the middle seat, preferring to lean on his friends, rather than an armrest.

“I love sitting in the middle when you guys are around!” Nagisa chirped, confirming Rei’s thoughts. The opening credits rolled and Haru and Makoto squeezed onto the other side of the couch. Nagisa curled up into a ball, leaving a spot for Rin to sit with his back against the sofa. The shorter boy curled into Rei’s side to make more space for their friends.

He was close.

 _Really close_.

“Nagisa-kun…” Rei said uncertainly, but the opening clip for the movie started to play before he had a chance to continue. Nagisa was already too busy laughing at the screen to have even heard him.

Instead of fighting their closeness for once, Rei just sank into it. He let himself enjoy the feeling of Nagisa on his side and tried not to think about their future together. (After all, they didn’t have one.)

* * *

“Oh, let’s stop here!” Nagisa chirped. His tiny hands pressed up against the window of the storefront. Rei looked up at the sign and smiled.

“You always want ice cream, don’t you?” he asked, fondly. Even little things like this made his feelings for Nagisa grow. He felt his heart warm up as Nagisa stood on his tiptoes, peering further into the ice cream parlor.

“Of course!” he replied. Rei didn’t argue, so Nagisa took his silence as a yes to ice cream. Even if Rei had said _no_ , Nagisa would have taken his answer as a yes. Regardless, he happily let Nagisa pull him into the shop and accompanied him to the counter. Nagisa turned away from the icebox of flavors to lock eyes with Rei. “Bet you can guess what flavor I’m going to get,” he said with a sheepish grin. 

“Hmm… Let me think,” Rei said. He posed with his forefinger and his thumb against his glasses, pretending to be in deep thought. Nagisa giggled beside him. “Maybe, strawberry?” he asked.

Nagisa winked at Rei. “You’ve got it!” he replied.

Before Nagisa could dare fish into his pockets for his wallet, Rei pulled out his own. “One scoop of strawberry and one of peach,” he asked the girl at the counter. He passed her the appropriate currency, took the change, and tucked his wallet away.

Nagisa looked up at him, starry-eyed. “You’re treating?” he asked, even though it was fairly typical for Rei to buy things for him.

“Of course,” Rei replied, blushing even though it was also fairly typical for Nagisa to look at him with such admiration in his eyes. “It’s only logical considering I invited you out to look around town.”

Nagisa immediately called his bluff. “That’s not true, Rei-chan. I asked _you_ to come out; it’s just for once you didn’t say no.” Rei’s blush only managed to heat up further. So maybe Nagisa did ask him to spend time together today, and maybe it wasn’t appropriate for Rei to be the one to pay for his ice cream. He had been hoping that maybe Nagisa would take his excuse and they could move past this somewhat embarrassing conversation.

“Still.”

Nagisa arched an eyebrow at him but was quickly distracted by his ice cream. He took a big bite, and Rei tried not to get distracted by the way Nagisa rolled his spoon around in his mouth. “Mmm… Rei-chan, if you were an ice cream flavor, which would you be?” Nagisa asked.

Rei stared at him quizzically. “Nagisa-kun, that question doesn’t make any sense. I cannot share any characteristics with an ice cream flavor.”

“I think you would be green tea,” Nagisa replied, half ignoring him. Rei sighed. He didn’t know why Nagisa ever bothered asking him these types of questions, when he already had his own answer in mind. “Partially because it’s beautiful and clean tasting, and partially because it’s boring.”

Rei choked on his peach ice cream. “Eh? I’m not _boring._ If I was an ice cream flavor, I’d sooner be pear or sakura,” he argued indignantly. Nagisa merely grinned up at him in the same way he usually did when he was teasing Rei.

“You _know_ you’re not pear, and you know you’re not sakura. Maybe… maybe you can be pumpkin.”

“Pumpkin?”

“It seems practical.”

“I’m not _always_ practical.”

“…”

“Well, fine, I’m not _just_ practical. I am compiled of many beautiful qualities,” Rei said vainly. Nagisa didn’t respond right away, too absorbed in his ice cream, but usually Nagisa’s silence meant that he agreed with whatever Rei was saying. Rei stared down into his own ice cream cup for a moment. “What flavor do you think you would be, Nagisa-kun?” he asked after a moment.

Nagisa hummed. “I don’t know. Maybe chocolate.”

Rei couldn’t help but laugh about the idea of Nagisa being something as simple as chocolate. This was a ridiculous hypothetical and a ridiculous conversation, but Nagisa was taking it seriously. And for someone so serious, he was so _wrong._

“What?” Nagisa asked.

“Nothing, it’s just… Well, you can be chocolate, but you’d have to be chocolate, peanut, almond, toffee, caramel swirl,” he replied. Nagisa looked up at him with those big, magenta eyes.

**_You’re too much to be just one thing. We’d need more ice cream flavors than have been invented to describe you, Nagisa-kun._ **

Nagisa seemed to perk up some, despite already being quite perky. He slung an arm around Rei’s waist. “You know, you don’t have to be pumpkin or green tea. You don’t have to be any ice cream at all.” It’s an olive branch, Rei realizes, to make up for the teasing before. Rei smirked.

“I never had to be any ice cream flavor at all,” Rei replied haughtily. His proud demeanor dissipated in a second, though. “But thank you, Nagisa-kun. I’m glad we can both be people instead of frozen dairy treats.” Nagisa’s arm wrapped a little tighter around his waist, and Rei felt himself fall a little further in love.

* * *

If there was one thing Rei envied about Nagisa, it was how secure he always seemed to be. Rei trusted his teammates with his life –they’d saved it in more ways than one- but he still sometimes felt tense and awkward around them. Nagisa had no such qualms. Even now, as he shared an embarrassing story, his body seemed completely relaxed and his eyes were wide. 

Rei wished he could be like Nagisa. Nagisa was bright and exciting, but Rei was quiet and reserved. He found it difficult to be himself around his friends, considering how different he was from the rest of them. He didn’t have the same interests or the same history they shared. He was the nerdy kid who joined the group last. While Nagisa had gone to considerable lengths to make him feel part of the team, he still sometimes felt like an outsider.

“So the scene is set,” Nagisa continued in his story. “I’m in fourth grade, and there’s hundreds of people around for the squid festival. I was just about to exchange the money my mom gave me for a caramel apple, when I felt one of my sisters grab the back of my collar and pull me backwards!” he exclaimed.

Makoto grinned empathetically. “Your sisters sure do like scaring you, Nagisa,” he mused.

Nagsia nodded frantically, his curls flying. “But more than that, they like dressing me up! They dragged me behind one of the stalls, and I don’t remember which, but one of them stuffed my hair into pigtails. And the other switched out my kimono, and then they made me go out there looking like a girl,” Nagisa recounted.

“Oh. That’s terrible,” Rei frowned. He wished he could have been there to put a stop to it.

Nagisa looked up at him and winked. “But that’s not all! After that, I had to find my mom to tell her I wanted to go home, but we had gotten separated after my sisters pulled me away. I couldn’t find her because I was so short, and the crowd was so tall, and she couldn’t find me because I looked so different. I had to walk around the festival for an hour before I could find her.”

Makoto laughed. “Well, that’s certainly an embarrassing story. Who’s turn is it next?”

Rei folded his arms together. “I don’t know why we always insist on sitting around, taking turns, telling embarrassing stories like this. It’s _humiliating_ ,” he complained.

Nagisa’s posture straightened out. He leaned towards Rei with a wicked grin on his face. “Looks like you have a pretty bad one in mind, huh, Rei-chan? I think it’s your turn,” he decided. Rei gave him a light-hearted push.

“You know, not everyone is comfortable with sharing every thought that crosses their mind,” he argued. “The only one who likes sharing these stories is you. Everyone else just likes the listening part of this game, not the telling.”

Haru shrugged. “I don’t mind telling my embarrassing stories.”

Rei adjusted his glasses with one hand. “That’s because nothing embarrasses you, Haruka-senpai. Even the things that should.”

“I think that’s crazy to not want to share. We’re all best friends, why be embarrassed?” Nagisa asked, flopping back on the pool deck. It was nice to sit and relax after practice sometimes, their feet dangling in the pool and the sun hot on their shoulders. Even if Rei wasn’t fond of this particular game, he would never want to miss moments like these. “I share everything all the time.”

“We know,” Makoto laughed.

“You don’t have much of a filter,” Rei pointed out. Nagisa sat up on his forearms and looked at Rei, a hurt expression on his cute little features. “It’s not a bad thing!” he quickly backtracked. “It’s just a fact. You say everything you like. Actually, I think it’s admirable that you don’t have any reservations about things like that; you’re just 100 percent you all of the time. You don’t hide anything.”

“Rei-chan, you’re a dork,” Nagisa said. He sounded annoyed, but the glint in his eyes proved he was pleased with what Rei had to say about him. “Don’t think compliments will get you out of your turn, though! You still have to share an embarrassing story. It’s not fair if you just listen to all of ours.”

Rei sighed. “Okay, well in second grade, I really had to go to the bathroom, and I couldn’t hold it anymore, so I…Well, I… I…”

Nagisa started laughing before he could finish. “Rei-chan, oh my god, you peed your pants?” he asked between giggles. Rei’s jaw dropped open and his whole face turned red. A quick look over to Makoto and Haru proved they were laughing, too, albeit not as hard as Nagisa. Rei only floundered for a moment before a weird sense of calm swept over him.

Yes, peeing his pants had been mortifying at the time, but retelling the story to his friends… They were laughing, but Rei didn’t feel embarrassed. “Yes, I did,” he said, looking up towards the sky. “It was humiliating at the time, but I’m sort of over it now.”

* * *

“So there I was, with this tern staring at me, I’m staring at the tern, we’re both staring at each other, when-“ 

“Nagisa, this is _silent_ reading time. It’s not time for story telling,” Sato-sensei declared from the front of the room. Nagisa obediently paused mid-story and adjusted his tie. He was always being scolded for talking during class.

Rei watched as he squirmed in his seat and refocused on his textbook. His silence lasted all of thirty seconds before he turned to the girl next to him and-

“Kimi-chan, do you-“

“ _Shhhhh_.” Rei blushed _for_ Nagisa as Kimiko stopped him from talking before he got the chance to finish his sentence. While he really should be quiet, Rei knew that it usually upset Nagisa when people told him to settle down. For that reason, Rei was careful to never interrupt Nagisa or ask him to stop talking. He occasionally emphasized a need for silence before he started studying or when he was trying to help Nagisa with his classes, but he had never shushed him or told him to shut up.

Soon enough, it was time to break for lunch. Nagisa did not seem as chipper as usual, despite the promise of food right around the corner. Rei smiled encouragingly and carded his fingers through blond hair. Nagisa looked up at him, question mark evident in his eyes. Rei once again found himself marveling at Nagisa’s magenta irises.

**_You're so cute._ **

“So you and the tern were both staring, _when…?”_ Rei asked aloud, pushing down his thoughts about how adorable his friend was. Nagisa’s whole body seemed to re-animate, and a smile overtook his entire face.

“When a giant hawk or something swept in and took the sandwich before either of us had the chance! It’s claws almost snatched up one of my fingers!” Rei laughed as he and Nagisa walked to the roof, despite having heard this very story multiple times before. After all, even when Nagisa’s stories were no longer funny, his silly way of telling them would always be enough to make Rei laugh.

* * *

“This doesn’t make any sense,” Nagisa declared, throwing his pencil down on the table. Nagisa insisted on using colorful pencils (actually, he insisted on everything being colorful), and this one was purple with silver shooting stars all over it.

Rei picked the pencil back up and placed it into Nagisa’s hand. “Yes, it does. You just need to think step by step,” Rei admonished. His eyes met Nagisa’s. “Now what do you do next?” 

Nagisa frowned down at the math problem for a minute. “I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do. Come on, think.”

**_Divide by seven on both sides._ **

It took only a half second for Nagisa to realize the next step. Just as Rei was thinking it, Nagisa’s eyes went comically wide and he filled in the rest of the equation without Rei having to help him at all. He merely looked up to Rei for reassurance as he went along. Nagisa’s smile was positively glowing as he finished the problem and came to the right answer.

“Geez, Rei, you’re going to have to help me like that on the next test!” Nagisa teased with a wink. His foot nudged Rei’s underneath the table.

“Nonsense!” Rei said loudly. “You are more than capable of doing problems such as these on your own. Why, with intelligence such as yours, with the proper studying, you could surpass me and become top of the class!”

Rei wasn’t exaggerating at all, but Nagisa seemed to think he was. Rei just smiled fondly as his friend giggled, eventually sticking his feet into Rei’s lap. It didn’t take long for Nagisa to settle down and get back to work after that, frequently asking Rei to give him tips on how to solve the rest of the problems.

Oddly, the more Nagisa got right the more he seemed to want to touch Rei. By the end of the homework sheet, Nagisa had moved to the other side of the table and pulled Rei’s arm around his shoulder. He was now cuddled into his side.

“What would I do without Rei-chan?” Nagisa asked as he circled the final answer.

“Ah, the better question is, what would I do without you, Nagisa-kun?”

Nagisa looked up at him, confused. “What do you mean?”

“Well, you’re the one who helps me try new things. You take responsibility for me; you make me laugh; you tell me stories. You’ve made my life considerably more interesting and entertaining,” Rei listed. “Without me, you would merely have a different math tutor. But without you… I would be a mediocre pole-vaulter with a very limited social life.”

Rei’s words reached his own ears a little too late, and a deep flush settled over his cheeks. Perhaps he should not have been so forward. Nagisa, meanwhile, looked awestruck.

“Rei-chan,” he all but cooed. His voice sounded hoarse all of a sudden, and Rei considered offering him some water or tea to drink. “I couldn’t ever have another math tutor. I’ll only ever want you.”

Rei’s cheeks somehow grew even hotter, and he adjusted his glasses nervously. Nagisa certainly knew how to make him flustered. The blonde could be quite the handful when he wanted to be.

* * *

As much as Rei enjoyed his time with Nagisa, it was starting to exhaust him.

He had always found Nagisa to be tiring. He was loud, and demanding, and far more energetic than Rei could ever be. He never stopped moving, and he never stopped talking. While usually Rei found himself attracted to these qualities, that did not mean it was easy for him to keep up. Still, he managed: partially because he loved Nagisa and wanted to spend time with him and partially because Nagisa hardly ever willingly left his side.

However, lately, trips to Nagisa’s house and their typical study dates had been more exhausting than usual. What Nagisa considered to be an acceptable amount of physical space between friends was growing smaller and smaller by the day. If he wasn’t forcibly tucked under Rei’s arm or nuzzled into Rei’s side, he was sitting in his lap.

And he was _squirmy._

“Nagisa, please settle down,” Rei said. It must have been the fifth time he requested that Nagisa be still since the beginning of their lunch break alone. He didn’t know how many times he had asked Nagisa to relax on the train this morning.

“Mmm,” Nagisa hummed around an egg roll. His body was still for a solid fifteen seconds –his back resting on Rei’s chest and his head tucked under Rei’s jaw- before he was moving again.

“Oh, oh, Mako-chan! Have you talked to Amakata-san about new Iwatobi jackets?” he asked, bouncing in Rei’s lap.

Makoto arched an eyebrow, seemingly noticing how excitable Nagisa was today. “Ah, not yet. Why? Did you have any ideas about how they should look?”

Nagisa stood up. Rei breathed a sigh of relief. “I want my name on the back of this one,” Nagisa said, spinning around with a bit of a flourish, “Right across the top in a big arch!”

Makoto’s face scrunched up sweetly. “But, Nagisa… That’s where ‘Iwatobi’ is supposed to go.”

Nagisa turned to face Makoto again and pouted. “But I’m more important than the school.”

“Stop frowning,” Haru ordered.

“But I-“

“If you want to spend more time with us, you have to stop whining so much.” Haru could be extremely blunt, and Rei looked over at Nagisa to make sure he wasn’t too upset. He looked a bit crestfallen –but no more so than when Makoto rejected his jacket design- so Rei relaxed a little. Unfortunately, his moment of peace didn’t last long because Nagisa plopped himself right back down in Rei’s lap.

“Nagisa, your parents took you to one of your sisters’ dance recitals this weekend, right? Why don’t you tell us how that went?” Makoto asked. Rei was incredibly thankful for his senpai in moments such as these. He always knew when to change the subject and what to do to put Nagisa into a better frame of mind.

Nagisa’s whole face lit up, and he immediately launched into a detailed retelling of the ballet he went to see. Rei, meanwhile, checked out of the conversation. He was too focused on the feel of Nagisa’s hair tickling his chin and his spine pressing into his torso. To have a person he loved so much so close to him and yet so far was unbearable.

* * *

“This is ridiculous,” Gou-san complained. “I’m surrounded by muscles all of the time, and I can’t touch any of them.” Gou’s feet were in the water as she surveyed Nagisa’s breaststroke. “I need a boyfriend. I don’t even care if he’s my soul mate or not.”

“I don’t see the point in that,” Makoto mused, toweling off his chest. “Why date someone when you know it won’t work out?”

Rei finished drying off his hair. Only Nagisa and Haru were left in the pool. Once they were done, practice would be over, and they could all go home. “I don’t know…” he mused, staring wistfully at a certain blond swimmer. “As good as the idea of a soul mate can be, that doesn’t stop feelings from developing for other people.”

Makoto and Gou looked over at him, incredulous looks on their faces. “Rei-kun…” Gou gasped.

Rei squirmed uncomfortably, not knowing what he did to earn that kind of reaction from his teammates, when Nagisa popped out of the water. “Gou-chan! You’re not paying attention!” he whined.

Rei’s body tensed as he heard Nagisa’s voice. He was so _tired_ of listening to him complain when he wasn’t allowed to kiss the adorable frown off of his lips.

Never before had Rei felt such a desperate need for physical touch. It was overwhelming and nonsensical. A simple kiss would not fix the problem at hand –Nagisa wanted swimming advice from Gou-san, not physical affections- but Rei couldn’t stop the desire to sweep Nagisa off of his feet.

Rei tugged at his hair, muttering an excuse under his breath, before quickly exiting the pool. He could feel three sets of eyes on him as he walked away, but he didn’t turn around. He didn’t even wait for Nagisa on the train.

* * *

“Makoto-senpai, may I talk to you for a moment? Alone?” Rei asked during swim practice. He and Makoto were taking a break as Nagisa and Haru –once again- practiced alone in the pool. (Haru never took breaks, and Nagisa was so energetic, he hardly ever needed to.)

Makoto’s eyes widened, before softening into his usual caring expression. “Sure, Rei. I was hoping to talk to you privately as well.” Makoto shuffled them towards the locker room. He ushered Rei to take a seat, but Rei couldn’t allow Makoto to speak first. He had too many questions. 

He interrupted just as Makoto was opening up his mouth. “Have you ever been attracted to someone other than Haruka-senpai?” he asked, face flushing immediately after he said it.

Makoto immediately looked uncomfortable. “Well… No. I’ve always had Haru. I never needed anyone else; he’s my soul mate,” he answered. Rei felt like tearing his hair out. Everyone talked about soul mates like they were the only person he would ever need, but his heart was telling him that Nagisa was just as perfect for him as any soul mate could ever be.

“Well… Well…” Rei chewed on his bottom lip, not sure how to proceed from here. He was hoping Makoto would have some experiences to draw off of, but clearly, he didn’t. “Well, have you always been able to read Haruka-senpai’s mind?”

“Yes, of course,” Makoto answered. He looked unreasonably concerned for the conversation at hand. “Rei… If this is about Nagisa…”

“Don’t tell him anything, I beg of you, please,” Rei said, bowing. He had no idea how Makoto managed to identify his less-than-platonic feelings for the blonde, but he would prefer if Nagisa never found out. “I’m just… sorting through some things.”

Makoto frowned, seemingly torn. “I… I suppose I can keep your secret,” he promised. “But remember, Rei… Soul mates are forever. Whatever fling you’re considering won’t last. There’s only one person you’re meant for, one person you fit with. Don’t ruin it,” Makoto advised. Despite being so vague, he sounded more serious than Rei had ever heard him. “And if that means distancing yourself from whoever you’re interested in, then by all means, do so.”

Makoto then looked illogically upset and left the locker room. Rei saw him later speaking in hushed tones with Haru. Their eyes kept shifting fearfully to Nagisa, and Rei felt sick to his stomach. He knew exactly what they were talking about, and he wished he had never brought up his problem with Makoto at all.

* * *

In the end, Rei decided to take Makoto’s advice and put his relationship with Nagisa on pause. He began to put all of his effort into avoiding Nagisa. He no longer took the blonde’s calls or responded to his texts, he made excuses to stop seeing him after school, and he avoided eye contact with him during class.

Unfortunately, Nagisa did not understand Rei’s need for some healthy separation. Instead of granting him some space, he became twice as clingy. Rei found himself bombarded with texts day and night –even during class- and Nagisa was twice as physical and talkative during school. Their teacher had even started to yell at _Rei_ for all the conversation, declaring he was only encouraging Nagisa’s inappropriate behavior.

It all served to make Rei even tenser, and the tenser Rei grew, the more Nagisa refused to leave him alone. He knew if he did not get some time away from Nagisa soon, he would end up doing something he regretted.

Which was a shame. Before he started seriously considering his feelings for Nagisa-kun, he had felt over-the-moon whenever Nagisa gave him so much attention. Nagisa had trouble concentrating on anything –even the subjects he enjoyed- so to have so much of his focus was a privilege. Nagisa’s constant chattering and physical touch had made him feel special.

But now it was just too much. Every time the blond grabbed at his sweater vest or jumped up for a hug, Rei was torn between pushing him off and never letting him go. When Nagisa talked, Rei was tempted to interrupt him and confess his feelings.

But what was the point? Makoto was right; it was illogical to date someone other than one’s soul mate. Things with Nagisa could never end well, despite the deep connection Rei felt with him.

Fighting his feelings like this was driving Rei crazy. He had never felt so pulled towards someone he could not have.

Haru had once described his relationship with Makoto as a tide. Makoto pulled him in like the moon tugged at the water. Only now did Rei understand the metaphor, but it was for someone other than his soul mate. How could he feel so bonded to someone that was destined for someone else?

* * *

“Rei-chan, you’re in a different car than usual!”

Nagisa’s voice ripped through him, and Rei looked up from his book. “Oh, um… Yes. I thought I would shake things up today,” Rei replied. In all honesty, he had gotten on another car in hopes that Nagisa wouldn’t come looking for him. He was doing his best to keep them apart, but no matter what he did or where he went, Nagisa was sure to follow.

“Rei-chan is hardly ever spontaneous,” Nagisa replied. His eyes were wide and searching. Rei couldn’t help but shrink underneath his gaze. Nagisa clearly knew he was lying, but Rei wasn’t about to hurt his feelings or ruin their relationship by telling him the truth. “…You know, being in another car made you really hard to find.”

“That’s fine,” Rei said passively.

“Oh.”

Rei didn’t dare look up at Nagisa’s face. Instead he just burrowed his nose further into his book. He didn’t look up for the rest of the train ride, but that didn’t stop Nagisa from talking or snuggling with him. Rei’s eye twitched as Nagisa babbled on about _turtles_ of all things. He cleared his throat uncomfortably as Nagisa wormed his way under Rei’s arm.

If this sort of behavior didn’t stop soon, he’d either end up going crazy or snapping at Nagisa. He didn’t want to do either of those things, but no one had told Rei how frustrating sexual tension could be.

“Nagisa, I have to study before class, so I’m going to rush ahead, okay?” Rei said as he gathered his things. The train pulled to a stop. Rei had to focus on his shoes to avoid looking at Nagisa’s hurt expression.

“Okay… Well, maybe I can rush with you!”

“That’s more than alright, Nagisa-kun. I’d prefer to go alone. That way I can be faster.” It was hard to shake Nagisa off kindly, what with the other boy being so determined to spend time together. Before Nagisa could argue, Rei ran off the train. Fortunately, all those years of track made him a fast runner. He was able to leave Nagisa in the dust and hide from him until class started.

* * *

“Rei-chan! You’re here for lunch! Did you not have to study today?” Nagisa asked, bounding over to him. Rei blushed and considered walking right back down the stairs. He’d only come up to the roof for lunch in the hopes that spending a little time with Nagisa would make him back off for awhile. Rei could already tell that had been a bad idea. 

“Actually, Nagisa-kun, I think I do have to-“

“No!” Nagisa shouted. Everyone eating lunch turned to look at them. Nagisa flushed and looked down to his toes. “I mean… Well, please eat lunch with us? Please? I miss you, and it’s been ages since you had any time for me, and I know that I’m a person who needs way too much attention, but…“ Nagisa trailed off.

“I can’t help having to study,” Rei argued weakly. Nagisa looked up at him, and Rei was alarmed to see the tears welling up in Nagisa’s eyes.

**_Please don’t cry._ **

“But do you really _have_ to study? Because it’s the beginning of the summer, we don’t have exams for ages,” he admonished.

“Right, well this is an important year, Nagisa.”

“How?”

“This is high school. It’s important to do well to go to a good college.”

“But I _miss_ you. I need you. I-“

“Nagisa-kun, I really can’t listen to this,” Rei interrupted. He couldn’t. He couldn’t handle hearing Nagisa say things he didn’t mean, not in the way Rei wanted him to mean them. Hearing Nagisa say ‘I need you’ made Rei want to run away more than he did before. He turned back to the stairwell. “I’m going to go to the library. You… Stay here with Makoto-senpai and Haru-senpai. Talk to them for a change,” he instructed.

He left without daring to look over his shoulder.

* * *

Nagisa sat next to him on the train again, even when nothing in Rei’s expression or posture said that he was welcome. The whole ride to school was filled with Nagisa’s mindless waffling. The topics spanned from quilts to penguins to books to a thousand other things that Rei cared too much about to listen to any longer.

This had been going on for a week now: Rei trying to hide in another car and Nagisa finding him anyway. As he talked, and talked, and talked, Rei felt frustration bubbling up in his chest. Why couldn’t Nagisa take no for an answer? Why wouldn’t he just _go away?_

It wasn’t until they reached their stop that he snapped. Rei glared down at Nagisa.

**_You’re driving me crazy._ **

The simple look made his friend freeze on the platform. “What-“

“Nagisa-kun, just… just… _Shut up!_ In the year that I’ve known you, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you once stop talking _!_ ” Rei’s face was hot. “You babble _incessantly_ over such trivial, _stupid things_. Use your brain and realize that _I don’t want to listen anymore!”_ he shouted.

Right in Nagisa’s face.

Right in the middle of the train station.

With all of their classmates walking around them to get to class.

Nagisa’s eyes widened, and his hands fell away from Rei’s arm. As guilty as he felt, he couldn’t help but feel less tense due to the absence of Nagisa’s hands. This was the first time in what felt like _weeks_ that Nagisa had willingly stopped touching him.

His moment of relief ended quickly when he noticed the tears welling up in Nagisa’s eyes. “Nagisa…” Rei nearly whispered, the reality of what he had done hitting him all at once. He had yelled at Nagisa. He had told him to be quiet; he had told him to _shut up_. He’d even gone so far as to call his thoughts and opinions (the same thoughts and opinions that Rei held so dear) trivial and stupid.

And he had done so in front of all their classmates.

Nagisa’s cheeks and nose were bright pink, and his eyes were cloudy with tears. It would be cute, if it weren’t so sad. “You… you were the only person who’s never told me to…” For the first time ever, Nagisa seemed to be having trouble finding words. He looked up at Rei, crocodile tears rolling down his cheeks. “You’re so mean, Rei-chan!” he eventually cried out before running away.

Rei watched him go, nausea sweeping through his stomach. Everyone was looking at him, curious to see what he would do. Rei was curious, too. He had no idea how to fix this.

On the one hand, he couldn’t continue this frustrating friendship with Nagisa. At least not like this. He felt too drawn to the other boy to have to hold back his feelings for him, and since he could not read Nagisa’s mind, and he knew they weren’t soul mates, there was no way it would ever be fair or logical to confess.

It would be better if they no longer saw each other and Rei’s crush dissipated naturally. But at the same time, he couldn’t stand to see Nagisa upset. Something would have to be done.

Just maybe not today.

* * *

“Rei.”

Rei’s whole body tensed. He’d been avoiding his senpais for days now, knowing that what he had said to Nagisa wouldn’t sit with them lightly. He had anticipated a confrontation, but he had figured Makoto would be the one to come talk to him. He hadn’t expected Haru to approach him first.

“Y-yes,” he stammered. He refused to meet Haru’s eyes. Instead he focused on buttoning up his shirt as carefully and slowly as possible. Anything was better than meeting Haru’s most likely icy gaze.

“When are you going to apologize to Nagisa?”

“… Eventually,” Rei answered. He just wasn’t sure how to do it. Part of him wanted to be honest and tell Nagisa exactly why spending time together had become so exasperating. But at the same time, Rei knew sharing his feelings would only further destroy their relationship.

He was looking for an easy solution to all of this before talking to Nagisa. Unfortunately, he had yet to come up with an answer.

Haru crinkled his nose. Rei was shocked to see such a large display of emotion on Haru’s face. “Not eventually. Immediately. You and Nagisa have a special relationship; you have to fix this _now_. It’s not like how it would be if you’d yelled at me or Makoto, Nagisa is really torn up about this.”

“You think _he’s_ torn up?” Rei asked. “Nagisa is the most important person in the _world_ to me, and it’s _killing_ me to be apart from him.” Rei had no problems admitting it. Everyone knew he and Nagisa were best friends, and Haru clearly understood their deep connection.

“Of course it is,” Haru replied. Rei was going to ask what Haru could possibly mean by that, but the older boy seemed to be torn about something. He waited for him to speak again. “… It’s… It’s painful for me to be away from Makoto.”

Rei blinked in surprise. Haru hardly ever shared intimate details about his relationship. While Rei was flattered that his senpai would choose to share such privileged information with him, he didn’t know why he was bringing it up now. He and Nagisa weren’t soul mates. It wasn’t as difficult for them to be apart as it would be for Haru and Makoto.

That being said, however, Rei could somewhat understand the feeling. Even when he wasn’t thinking about his fallout with Nagisa, it felt like his heart was tearing itself in two. He was constantly aware of where Nagisa was, and he found his whole body gravitating towards him. It hurt to try to keep himself away.

This was exactly why he needed some time alone to sort himself out. His feelings for Nagisa had grown much too strong.

“Haruka-senpiai. My relationship with Nagisa is nothing like your relationship with Makoto. We’re not made for each other the same way that you two are,” Rei explained. “I presume Makoto filled you in on the talk we had the other day, so you must be fully aware of the situation. With my present feelings for Nagisa, it is best for us to spend some time apart.”

“That doesn’t make any sense. He needs you.”

“Nagisa relies on me for many things, but he is sociable and capable enough for us to spend some time apart.”

“But you guys are sou-“

“Haruka-senpai, I am sorry for interrupting, but I would rather not talk about this any longer. If you don’t mind, swim practice is over, and I have a train to catch,” Rei cut in, pushing past Haru and running away as fast as his legs could carry him. He didn’t want to talk about Nagisa needing him or how special their relationship was. It only made his heart hurt more.

* * *

“… Everyone keeps saying that these sorts of things are supposed to work themselves out. But it’s not! It’s not working itself out, it’s just getting worse!”

Rei jumped back into the locker room as he heard Nagisa’s voice. It didn’t take a psychic to guess what he was talking about, and Rei didn’t think it would be a good idea for him to walk in on this particular conversation.

Nagisa was positioned in such away that Rei could just see his face from his spot hiding behind the doorframe. He couldn’t see Makoto or Haru, but he was sure they were there. However, he _could_ see the tears on Nagisa’s cheeks, and his heart ached. Seeing Nagisa do anything but smile was painful.

“He won’t even _look_ at me, Mako-chan, Haru-chan. I’ve never… I’ve never felt so l-lone-lonely,” he stammered before promptly bursting into tears. Rei would never get used to how loudly Nagisa wailed whenever he cried. His sobs sounded so broken, so sad… And they were too loud to ignore. It was like he was calling for help. 

Rei hated that he couldn’t go to him. He had to fix this, and he needed help to do it.

* * *

It was late at night when Rei knocked on Rin’s door. He knew Rin was most likely asleep and he was probably waking both him and Yamazaki-san with his sudden arrival, but he needed a friend.

As grouchy and distant as Rin could be; he had proven to be a valuable companion to Rei. At the very least, he understood how difficult emotions were to sort through, and Rei was near positive that he could count on Rin-san to talk to him about his problems with Nagisa without judging him too harshly.

Sousuke opened the door.

“Yamazaki-san?”

“What?”

Rei adjusted his glasses. “You’re wearing kitten pajamas.”

Already, Sousuke was too annoyed to bother with him anymore. “Rin, get up. An Iwatobi is here for you,” Sousuke said with an eye roll. He threw a textbook into Rin’s bunk to encourage him to wake up before flopping down on his own bed, kitten pajamas and all.

Rin sat up, rubbing his hip where the textbook had hit him. He picked it up, confused for a second, before anger washed over his face. He promptly spiked the textbook right back at Sousuke.

Rei cleared this throat, and Rin’s eyes quickly fell on him. “Rei? What time is it?” Rin asked, scrubbing at his eyes as he roused himself.

“I’m not sure. Pardon this intrusion, Rin-san, I just… I needed-“

“Dude, don’t worry. Haru’s been complaining, Makoto’s been worrying, and Nagisa’s been wailing… I figured I’d hear from you sooner or later,” Rin said, waving him off. He seemed untroubled, but Rei couldn’t help but catch him whisper under his breath, “Just didn’t think it’d be at two in the fucking morning.”

Rei couldn’t help but squirm uncomfortably. Everyone was talking about him and his humiliating mistake. While he had expecting nothing less from his tight-knit group of friends, he was embarrassed to have his assumptions confirmed. He could only hope that no one had told Nagisa of his romantic interest in him.

“Sousuke, clear out all right? Give us some privacy,” Rin demanded, glaring at his roommate. Sousuke sat up in bed, seemingly furious, but stomped out of the room anyway. It appeared as though Yamazaki-san would do anything Rin-san asked.

Rei entered further into the room, and Rin patted the spot next to him on the mattress to invite him to sit down. Rei gratefully took the opportunity.

“So you’ve been ignoring your soul mate, huh?” Rin asked. He didn’t sound judgmental, which Rei found encouraging, but the way he phrased the problem was a little odd.

“I mean… I suppose,” Rei replied. He floundered for words. It had taken him ages to reach Samezuka Academy, but he hadn’t thought of what he would say when he reached Rin. He hid his face in his hands. “My feelings for Nagisa have become so… conflicting.”

Rin merely hummed in response. Silence grew around them until Rei felt like he was suffocating. Maybe Rin-san was mad at him, too. Maybe he was going to yell at him like he knew Makoto and Haru wanted to. Rei waited for Rin to speak with baited breath. “So who’s the other guy?”

“What?”

“Or… girl, I guess,” Rin asked, wincing sheepishly.

Rei fussed with his glasses awkwardly. “Um… Well, I don’t know yet. I haven’t met my soul mate, at least not that I know of, so these feelings for Nagisa are only temporary, at least until I find-“

“Wait, what are you talking about?” Rin asked, just as confused as Rei had been when Rin asked about the “other” person he was interested in.

“I thought you said Makoto and Haru-senpai filled you in on the situation at hand.”

“They did,” Rin said. It was the first time Rei had ever seen him look so lost in conversation before. Rei himself was just as perplexed; he found himself anxiously mirroring Rin as the older boy ran a hand through his hair. “I just don’t get what you’re saying, ‘not finding your soul mate,’ and all that shit. What about Nagisa?”

Rei let out an exasperated moan. “That’s the whole problem. I’m afraid I’ve fallen in love with Nagisa, despite being unable to form a mental connection with him. We’re not soul mates.”

“But you _are_ soul mates.”

Rei chuckled dryly. “I’m afraid that just isn’t true.”

Rin looked at Rei as if he had three heads. “Um, no, that is true, what… What the fuck? Nagisa’s been talking my ear off for _months_ about you, and all the cute things you tell him telepathically, and how great it is to have finally found a soul mate, blah, blah, blah… Don’t try to tell me you guys aren’t bound together.”

Rei sat there flabbergasted. His mouth opened and closed like one of the mackerel Haru was so fond of. “I… I don’t know what Nagisa has been telling you, but I’ve never communicated to him telepathically before,” he eventually stammered out.

“Are you kidding me? You told him before you yelled at him last week that he was ‘driving you crazy’ or something like that.” Rin shrugged, trying to seem unattached and failing miserably. “I dunno, it was hard to make out between all the snot and tears.”

Rei thought back, and his stomach twisted violently. He did remember thinking something along those lines as they left the train that day. He remembered looking straight into Nagisa’s eyes as he thought it. “But… But I’ve never read Nagisa’s mind! He’s never said anything to me!”

“I’m not even sure why we’re arguing about this right now. Haru was telling Nagisa just yesterday about the conversation you two had in the locker room, about how hard it was to be away from your soul mate?”

Rei flushed. “I didn’t know that’s what we were talking about!” He groaned and threw his face into Rin’s mattress. “We can’t possibly be soul mates. Someone would have told me, I would have known by now.”

“Apparently not. It’s supposed to be intuitive,” Rin snorted. He sat quietly as Rei had a silent mental crisis. He supposed it would make sense if Nagisa was his soul mate. He did have unreasonably passionate feelings about the other boy for someone he wasn’t predestined to be with. And being separated from him was as painful as Haru described. He felt drawn to Nagisa constantly, like there was a beacon inside of him pulling him closer, and denying that calling was wearing him out. “You know, Nagisa talks an awful lot. Maybe he just hasn’t bothered to say anything to you mentally. Maybe he just says it all out loud.”

Rei’s eyes widened, and suddenly, everything clicked. “Oh my god.”

Rin’s shark-like teeth curved upwards in a smile. “You’re probably the only person to spend nearly a year dating their soul mate without ever realizing it.”

“I have to go apologize,” Rei gasped, realizing that his words and actions must have resonated with Nagisa in ways more devastating than intended. “Like… Right now.”

“Thatta boy,” Rin said, walking Rei out. Rei left Samezuka in a fog, barely acknowledging Rin-san calling Sousuke back in the room behind him. All he could think about was making it up to Nagisa.

* * *

“Eh? Rei-chan…?” Nagisa asked, scrubbing at one of his eyes as he opened the door. Rei noticed the way he shied behind it when he realized who had been knocking. “What are you doing here? It’s three in the morning.”

“Nagisa-kun, say something to me telepathically,” Rei demanded immediately. He hardly let Nagisa finish his sentence.

“Wha-“

“Hurry, just do it.”

Nagisa’s face crinkled up for a moment –anger temporarily replacing his sleepy expression- before he seemed to relax. He locked eyes with Rei, and Rei heard it. He _heard_ it.

**_Seriously, what are you doing here? It’s 3am._ **

Rei’s whole body seemed to melt as he retrieved the transmission, and he fell onto Nagisa. He wrapped the smaller boy up in the biggest hug he could muster. He loved Nagisa so much. He loved his little cute face, and his little cute personality, and his little cute body that seemed to disappear as Rei wrapped him up in his arms. “Why didn’t you do that before? Why didn’t you do that before?” he asked, nuzzling his cheek into Nagisa’s hair.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Nagisa said, face smothered into Rei’s chest. Suddenly, little hands pushed at Rei’s chest until Nagisa had managed to break himself free. “And, hey, you owe me an apology!” he demanded. His eyebrows were furrowed into an angry expression, but Rei watched as Nagisa’s resolve quickly crumpled. Tears crept into his eyes and throat. “You… You were so mean, Rei-chan. You love someone else, and you told me to be quiet, and then you… you ran away, and I’m… I’m… I’m…”

All of Rei’s happiness to have finally found his soul mate quickly went away when he realized that said soul mate was _crying_.

“You’re right. I should have never told you to be quiet, and I should have never left you alone,” Rei replied, reaching out to take Nagisa’s hand, “And I’m sorry for both of those things. I don’t mean to make excuses but… but, well, Nagisa. Why didn’t you _tell_ me we were soul mates?”

Nagisa tilted his head up at him. “What?”

Rei adjusted his glasses compulsively. “All this time, I thought that I had developed unjustified feelings for you. I thought you were a high school crush that had grown into something, well, frankly, overwhelming. But you’re not, you’re my soul mate, and I… I didn’t know.” 

“You didn’t know?”

Rei winced. “I had no clue.”

Nagisa’s eyes widened for a second. His startled expression was quickly replaced with an incredulous grin. “Rei-chan, you’re an _idiot_. Why’d you keep coming on dates with me, and watching my terrible movies, and buying me ice cream, and telling me how much you needed me when you thought I was just a crush?” he asked. He finally sounded like normal Nagisa.

Rei flushed deep red. He was going to have to get used to blushing around Nagisa, apparently. “Like I said, Nagisa-kun. My feelings for you were overwhelming.” Nagisa hummed. “It was terrifying. I didn’t know why I felt so strongly for you, when I was supposed to only feel so strongly for my soul mate. I thought that distancing myself from you would be the best course of action, but-“

“Distancing yourself from me is _always_ going to be a bad idea,” Nagisa said weakly, rubbing his cheek with the heel of his hand. Only then did Rei notice the dried tear tracks on his face.

Rei smiled gently. “Nagisa-kun, I promise, I’ll never leave you again.”

“Not for anyone else?” Nagisa asked uncertainly.

“There’s never _been_ anyone else, Nagisa. There was only you.”

Nagisa closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Okay, well… Well then why don’t you come inside? Because my parents say these kinds of things are supposed to work themselves out, and… and even if you still have a lot of explaining to do, I missed you. And I think it would be best if you stayed the night. You can’t go home and leave me alone again, not just yet,” he decided. The coy look he cast up at Rei through his eyelashes made Rei’s heart flutter.

“Right, of course,” Rei agreed. He felt light-headed, he was so happy. He’d messed up terribly –the fact that Nagisa wasn’t throwing things at him right now was a miracle- but it was impossible to feel worried or upset when Nagisa, his _soul mate_ and future husband, was standing in front of him.

“Good. The first thing you can do to make all this up to me is carry me up to my room,” Nagisa replied. “I’m too sleepy to walk.”

Rei laughed and happily swept Nagisa off his feet. He carried him bridal style to his room, planting kisses to his cheek along the way.

**_I love you more than anything, Nagisa-kun. I’m so glad to finally know you love me, too._ **

**Author's Note:**

> I don't really know about this. I worked super hard on it, but I was trying to write from Rei's perspective, which proved to be very difficult. And I sort of left a lot unsaid... 
> 
> But hopefully if you got to this end note, you liked it! 
> 
> I apologize for any cultural inaccuracies and typos! Also I'm sorry if I wrote Rin really poorly. Or Rei really poorly. Or Haru really poorly. Or pretty much all of them really poorly, idk, this is my first time writing for Free!


End file.
